QUESTIONS: Really bad jokes

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Why do most women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?
kezdjen tanulni
Because most men are stupid but few are blind.
What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?
kezdjen tanulni
A stick.
What is the best definition of a mixed emotion?
kezdjen tanulni
Watching the mother-in-law reverse off a cliff driving your brand new car.
Why is divorce so expensive?
kezdjen tanulni
Because it's worth it.
How many selfish people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
kezdjen tanulni
Only one, the world revolves around them.
What is another name for female Viagra?
kezdjen tanulni
A Diamond.
How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
kezdjen tanulni
Easily, concrete floors are very hard to crack!
If you had 3 apples and 4 oranges in one hand and 4 pears and 3 pineapples in the other hand, what would you have?
kezdjen tanulni
Very large hands.
How can a man go eight days without sleep?
kezdjen tanulni
He sleeps at night.
Why it is impossible to send a telegram to Washington today?
kezdjen tanulni
Because he’s dead.
Why did a confused woman stare at a carton of apple juice for 20 minutes?
kezdjen tanulni
Because it said “Concentrate” on the side of the carton.
Why does nobody eat clowns?
kezdjen tanulni
Because they taste funny.
Why did the room packed with married people seem empty?
kezdjen tanulni
Because there wasn't a single person there.
What do people in prison use to communicate with each other?
kezdjen tanulni
Cell phones
What is the longest sentence that a man knows?
kezdjen tanulni
I do.
What would you have if you crossed a panther with a burger?
kezdjen tanulni
Really fast food.
Why do traffic lights rarely go swimming?
kezdjen tanulni
Because they take much too long to change.
Why is it that birds fly southwards for the winter?
kezdjen tanulni
Because it’s much too far to walk.
What falls regularly though never gets hurt?
kezdjen tanulni
Rain.
Why is it that people always walk whenever they play the bagpipes?
kezdjen tanulni
Even they are attempting to get away from that awful noise.
Why do you never see elephants hiding up in trees?
kezdjen tanulni
Because they’re really good at it.
What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic?
kezdjen tanulni
Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there is a dog.
What do a green apple and a red apple have in common?
kezdjen tanulni
They’re both red except for the green one.
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
kezdjen tanulni
Between you and me, something smells.
Which is the most curious letter?
kezdjen tanulni
Y.

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